Ordinary Problems
by quiet-raindrop
Summary: Apparently, having your alter ego kiss your girlfriend only brings trouble.


**Author's Note: **Worked a long weekend and I needed something warm and fun.

**Disclaimer: **Obviously, I don't own the characters. That would be awesome.

* * *

**Ordinary Problems**

"So . . . ." Barbara Gordon said in a drawn-out fashion as she sat down at the cafeteria table across from her boyfriend Dick Grayson. ". . . Robin kissed me."

This wasn't news to Dick, but hearing it so bluntly and openly from her lips made him freeze.

"Whu?" He managed to say with his mouth full.

She nodded matter-of-factually.

"I know right? In the complete middle of everything!"

Dick swallowed awkwardly and somehow the food managed to get down his throat.

Barbara seemed like she was trying to gauge Dick's face.

"I mean, I was grateful and everything for his saving me, but really, he should know better than to just kiss a random girl."

Dick tried to get his mouth to move.

"I thought you felt like you kind of knew him. I mean, he has saved you all those times and all."

"Yeah, well not enough to let him kiss me."

Barbara stared over at Dick again.

"Are you mad?"

"Oh, ah . . ."

"Why aren't you mad? Some random guy just kissed your girlfriend!" Barbara demanded to know.

"Well, it's not like . . . I mean I trust you and all. You probably handled the matter yourself. You don't need _me _to defend you." Dick said, while trying to think of

other stuff to say. "I mean, you aren't going to run away with him or anything right?"

"Of course not." Barbara said as she crossed her arms. "But he's a superhero. Shouldn't he know better than that? I mean, what kind of guy just kisses

whatever girl he saves? How many girls has he kissed anyway?"

Dick's eyes flared.

"Well I don't think he . . ." Barbara gave him a look. "Okay, I have no idea, but . . ."

"Doesn't he realize that he is supposed to be a positive symbol of this city? He can't just go around kissing whatever girl he feels like."

"Maybe he just thought you were pretty?" Dick said with a shrug.

Barbara's eyes narrowed.

"Do you just kiss any girl you find pretty?"

"Well, no."

"_Obviously,_ Robin was not raised properly with these morals." Barbara said decidedly.

She paused to take a drink of her orange juice.

Dick gulped.

He didn't realize the ramifications of giving his own girlfriend a kiss after making sure she was all right.

It had just happened.

"I'm glad you're okay though. We owe him that don't we?"

Barbara seemed to need to think about it, but then she nodded.

"Yeah, but still . . ."

"I thought once that you kind of . . . liked him." Dick couldn't help but saying.

Barbara flushed slightly.

"Well . . . I mean I obviously . . . well I think less of him now—_especially _now. He can't be doing stuff like that. Some girl is going to think he's serious about it

and get all attached and then get her heart broken."

Dick kind of shrugged in agreement. He could promise her though that it was never going to happen.

"But you aren't upset?" Barbara asked again.

"What do you want me to do Babs? Track him down and challenge him to a fight?" Dick said with a fake laugh.

Barbara grinned.

"What?" He didn't like that smile.

"I just can't see you taking down Robin—or anyone for that matter."

Dick narrowed his eyes and gave a 'hmp' sound.

"Fine then. I guess your little 'night-boyfriend' is safe."

Barbara turned bright red.

"He's not my night . . . I can't believe you just said that." Barbara looked away and took a deep breath.

"Well you talk about him enough." Dick pointed out with some satisfaction that she was at least uncomfortable too.

"Well that just . . . it's not that I _like_-like him. I just . . . owed him for saving me. I can't be rude to the person who saved my life. He always acted like a

gentleman up to that point."

Dick decided to pull back some.

"Well I guess I don't blame him. I mean, you are beautiful. He probably just got caught up in the moment."

It was Barbara's turn to shrug and she swung her feet under the table.

"Why are you telling me this anyway?" Dick wanted to know.

"I just wanted to tell you in case . . ."

". . . someone saw it happen and I found out about it?"

"Kind of?" Barbara said as she made a face.

"I'm not mad." He assured her. "Unless you have plans to do it again."

"No." Barbara said firmly. "Besides, I thought I told him once that I had a boyfriend. Apparently, he doesn't care about principles concerning that."

"Well I guess no one saw it." Dick told her.

No one was happier about that than he was.

"I probably would have known it as soon as I got up if my dad had gotten wind of it. Or when I arrived at school, since every girl would be surrounding you

asking if they could be my replacement." Barbara huffed.

She looked around the cafeteria as if she could read girl's minds and give them a glare if they were entertaining the thought.

"Calm down, Babs. I would never give you up for something silly like a random kiss that you didn't even want."

"Really? You would really keep me around even if I kissed someone else?"

Dick dropped his fork onto the table.

"That is _not _what I said! Who exactly do you plan on kissing?" He thundered.

"No one!" Barbara promised. "I'm just trying to decide if that is a sweet idea or a naïve one."

"Well either way, Robin kissing you is not a big deal—unless . . ."

"No. I don't want him to."

"Okay." Dick said. "Then we are done discussing it."

In order to finalize the discussion he leaned over and gave her a quick peck on the lips.

"Grayson! I'm eating over here!" A voice ran out.

Dick shot the kid who was sitting behind both of them a glare.

"Anyway." Barbara said after clearing her throat. "I think something needs to be done about it. I think I'll tell my dad to mention something about it to Batman

next time he sees him.

Dick felt faint.

"You're going to tell your dad? I thought you didn't want him to know."

"I didn't, but now that I think about it—and that you aren't upset—someone needs to take action so that this doesn't get out of control."

"Are you trying to get the guy killed?" Dick said, as his voice squeaked a bit.

"My dad won't kill him. I think Batman should know."

Dick tried to regain control of his voice.

"Isn't that a little extreme? What if you get the guy in trouble?"

Barbara seemed to consider this.

"So you think I should let this go?"

"I just don't think it's that big a deal. Besides if Robin kissed some other girl, I'm sure she would have let the world know by now."

Dick hoped that this would appease her.

"I guess so. I suppose that is true." Barbara seemed to stare out the window for a moment. "I wonder if I really was the first one he ever kissed." She said

softly.

Dick set his drink down hard.

"Barbara!"

"What? I was just . . . stop being jealous."

"Stop going on about it. First you just wanted to confess to get the guilt off your chest and now you are reminiscing about it!"

"All right! I'm sorry. I'll stop. I really am mad at him though, so I'm going to tell my dad to have a talk with Batman about it."

"Barbara I really don't . . ."

"It's too late now. My mind is made up." Barbara said with certainty in her voice.

Dick cringed.

It looked like he was going to have a talk with Batman of his own.

* * *

"Hey, ah . . . Bruce? Do you have a moment?"

Dick stuck his head cautiously into the room where Bruce worked on the real world stuff that people expected him to do.

Bruce looked up slowly.

"That doesn't sound good."

Dick licked his lips and sat down in the chair opposite his desk.

"Okay, well today . . . no, so I kind of kissed Barbara and I . . .

Bruce immediately looked uncomfortable.

"Wow, ah . . . maybe you should ask Alf . . ."

"I don't need advice Bruce. Just listen." Dick said exasperatedly.

Bruce always got this way whenever this kind of topic was brought up. Dick should probably be grateful that he even _had _a girlfriend.

Bruce eased up and nodded

"You see I kissed her as Robin."

Dick waited for it.

"You did what?"

"I'm sorry, okay? I wasn't thinking about it. As soon as we rescued her and I found out that she wasn't hurt I just . . ." Dick shrugged.

"So is this whole explanation to tell me that when I see Gordon tonight there might be something that he wants to _discuss _with me?"

Dick grimaced.

"Yeah so if you could just . . . explain something that would be great."

"Explain how?" Bruce demanded to know.

"I don't know! Just say I acted recklessly . . . or oh! How about I'm just young and irresponsible . . . even better, I was under the influence of some sort of

chemical gas from . . ."

The expression on Bruce's face said that the Commissioner wasn't going to like any of these excuses.

"So I can assume Barbara didn't like Robin kissing her?"

Dick crossed his arms.

"That is a good assumption, but at times I think she has to remind herself of that."

Bruce cracked a smile.

"I see."

Dick didn't like his amusement.

"It is sufficient to say that I will never do it again." He vowed.

A knock came softly to the door.

"You can come in Alfred." Bruce called.

"Thank you sir. I was bringing up Mater Richard's snack. Is everything all right?"

Dick changed positions so that the tray could sit better on his lap.

"Well, it's kind of a long story but basically I kissed Barbara and . . ."

"Did you?" Alfred said while looking quite pleased at the idea.

Dick felt his face flush.

"_Moving on_ . . . I did it as Robin and . . ."

"Oh dear." Alfred's face changed rapidly.

"So just tell the Commissioner that you'll ground me or something." Dick pleaded with Bruce.

"I don't see why I'm the one that needs to handle this."

"Because Barbara thinks that . . ." Dick closed his mouth. There was no need to give Bruce more reasons to tease him then there was already going to be.

Bruce still seemed like he was waited for some sort of reply.

"Just tell him something, please? I don't want to die. I was just happy to see her alive."

"All right, I'll get you off the hook."

Dick leaned back in the chair with a sigh of relief.

"Just don't make a habit of running around kissing any girl you save. It will just cause problems." Bruce tacked on.

"I do not go around . . . and she's my _girlfriend!_ In an ordinary world in which we lived ordinary normal lives, none of this would have happened!"

"Well you're not the one about to explain that to Gordon now are you?"

"No. Thanks Bruce." Dick mumbled but honestly replied.

"Good. Now go do some schoolwork or something. I'll see you down in the cave in a few hours."

Dick nodded and left with the tray.

"What are we going to do about that kid Alfred? He gets himself into the weirdest situations."

"Indeed sir, but sometimes it cannot be helped." Alfred reminded Bruce.

"What do you think I should tell Gordon?"

"It's hard to say sir. It is quite the sticky situation as some people would say. But it is the job of parents to sometimes stand and defend their children,

especially when the mistake is an honest and well-meant one."

"I don't think that I'm going to like this part much." Bruce said rubbing his forehead.

"It will get easier I'm sure. Maybe one day when Miss Gordon knows we can all have a nice laugh . . "

"Who says she is going to know?" Bruce objected.

"Of course she is going to know. I'm surprised she doesn't already."

Bruce didn't seem to like this.

"Honestly, he _had _to get a girlfriend who _had_ to be the commissioner's daughter."

"I think it will work out all right in the end." Alfred said with a smile.

"Yeah, as long as Robin doesn't get taken out by some vengeful father after he finds out that Robin kissed his daughter."

_"I do not go around kissing random girls!"_ Dick voice reverberated down through the hall and into Bruce's office.

"You knew he was listening." Alfred charged.

"I have to get some enjoyment out of this." Bruce explained. "Consider it as payment for me doing a 'parent' job."

* * *

**Random End Notes: **Oh, me and my silly ideas. You like? Let me know.

{Dick/Babs because, HELLO! They are perfect for each other!}

Alright you know the drill. Advice, and (gentle) [be nice please! :}] criticism, would be appreciated. Or a haiku if you feel like one.


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